Sunday, January 20, 2008

The UFO returned!

I heard a strange sound this afternoon, just outside the house, and so I grabbed the video camera and:

Wow! I think the UFO must have charged me with a static electric field, because after I filmed it, I came inside, walked across the rug on our wood floor, went into the kitchen, and gave my wife a kiss, and when our noses touched it shocked us both! I can't think of any other explanation (you know, like shuffling feet on a cold, dry day while wearing a flannel-like, semi-fuzzy shirt and my wife having her hand touching the (grounded) stovetop... none of that could have anything to do with it).

I'll have to keep an eye out for strange markings in the backyard. Come to think of it, I have seen weird, track-like markings out there; I had assumed they were from driving the go-cart around and around in circles, but now I realize they must have been alien signals! And all the times the reception goes bad on my TV, when I thought it was the microwave, it must have merely been coincidental that the nuker (AKA microwave) was on at the same time, and instead it must have really been UFO interference! And that one time I was abducted and taken away and had weird experiments run on me... no, wait, that wasn't an abduction, that was my wife taking me to the ER back when I had a kidney stone... But maybe it was the aliens in the Diet Mt. Dew-like UFO that somehow put the blockage in my kidney in the first place! I should keep track of this...

Ok, have to go play a game with the family now... "Last Word." Was a family Christmas present that we're only just getting around to playing. ... wait ... are they really my family? Or only look-alike clones left in the place of my family by the Diet Mt. Dew aliens while I was sleeping last night... or maybe I'm the look-alike clone... am I really me? Do I exist? :) Gotta go...

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