Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Stupid ads

What's up with all those stupid dancer ads all over websites? I mean, really; they have some animated guy or girl or clown doing these stupid dancing moves, sometimes moving forward & backward, for things like mortgages, car insurance, and online education. Seriously; do you find them as annoying as I do? They're not the worst offenders, though; the flashing ads are the worst. You know, the ones where they flash various colors, or I even saw one going from white to grey to black in rapid succession (with the text changing to suit the background, of course). Isn't that the kind of thing that can cause epileptic fits and seizures (in people prone to those sorts of things)? Could the ad company be sued for injury or death if that occurs? I can tell you one thing - I will never click on or buy from one of those ads. In fact, I will very quickly scroll the screen (if possible) or refresh (to get a different ad displayed) or put my hand over the ad when I see one of those. How stupid!

Now, in case you missed it, please read the previous post before continuing this one, so you'll know that I've announced my candidacy for President of the United States. I'm running as the leading member of the... um... haven't come up with a party name yet. Maybe we'll go with the "Nameless Party" for now... or perhaps "Common Party"... any suggestions? Feel free to post suggestions in your comments... (I briefly considered "Eusocialist Party" because of the ant icon - but wait, you haven't read that part yet, since it's in the last paragraph, below - anyway, after reading about "eusociality" I don't think that's necessarily a good party title...)

So, anyway, according to this article, you should vote for me, since I'm running as an independent (per the above mentioned nameless party), not as a Republican or a Democrat.

Want some more reasons? How about these:
  • Want an honest candidate? Here's the real reason I'm running: I want to work for four (maybe eight) years and then retire. Ok, they're going to be really tough years, lots of work, but I think it'll be worth it. Thus you can see: I'm honest. I'm really telling you the truth. And, further, I obviously have no personal agenda behind my campaign and won't be biased by whatever support comes along - like the guy trying to sell Suzukis at our local non-commission Suzuki dealer, who gets paid a salary and only a bonus based on volume - not on amount over invoice - I've only your, the common person's, best interests in mind.
  • I'm just a normal guy; I'm going to do what's best for the normal guy, 'cause once I'm not president any more, I'm just going to be a normal guy again.
  • I like cats. But I have a dog. See? I cater to the rest of my family, putting their desires above my own. I'll do the same for the US.
  • I know everything. (Ok, that's not quite honest... :)
  • In general, I'm a fairly reasonable guy. I think I am, anyway.
So, what else can I offer? Um, let me know what you want; I'll do my best. I don't really have a party logo yet, but I'm thinking it'll be an ant (a red, white, and blue starred one), to represent the "power of the little people" - like the common man. You know, how an ant can carry a proportionately larger mass than its own (although this is explained in terms of its size here; it's not so much that the ant is super strong, but that it has proportionately less mass compared with its muscle strength, or something like that). And while ants are small, working together they accomplish much. Note, however, that I'm not suggesting that we turn America into a huge ant farm, where everyone does the same bits of work over and over. Just that, if everyone does his part (or her part), we can retain America's strength through diversity. (Or something like that.)

Ok, I was going to go ahead and post this, but I have to ask: what are these people thinking? By "these people" I'm referring to the auditionists (I think I made up a word there) on American Idol (I don't usually watch that show, but it was on, and the wife & kids wanted to watch it - see, again, putting others before myself... :). I mean, really... wait, maybe I should reconsider my own music before I go on about this... but my wife said my music is better than some of the stuff she heard. Of course, she's my wife, but I believe she's telling me the truth!

One other thing: I don't have a vice presidential running mate; qualifications (in case you're interested): (natural born) citizen of the US, resident for the last 14 years, at least 35 years of age, and, as near as I can tell, must be a resident from a state other than Alabama (since that's where I reside), but I can't recall now where I read that last part (the "not from the same state" part). Let me know if you're interested...


Christy said...

Sorry, Tony, but I'm not going to vote for you as president. The reason is that I don't want you and Ninfa to move to D.C. :) I admire your desire to help the country and you do have some very good ideas. I personally like the ant logo; it makes much for sense than the elephant. I think the donkey speaks for itself, though, so we can keep that one. Sorry if I just offended any one. Anyway, good luck with the campaign, I guess.

On the American Idol note, you and Dean both say "I don't really watch the show, but my family does" YEAH! WHATEVER! You two probably watch it and talk about it on the phone at the same time! Just come on out of the closet and stop blaming your family. After all, you did say you're honest, right?

Tony M said...

Actually, I really don't watch American Idol, other than when the family's doing so and I'm in the room. Really. Why would I deliberately put myself through such torture? I much prefer American Gladiators.

And you (and your family) can move to DC with us... be on the staff/cabinet/whatever. And it's only four years...

Ok, I have to get back to work now...