Saturday, November 15, 2008

Pet... or Party Tray?

You may not want to read today's blog or watch the embedded video (below). I don't know how you'll know whether or not you want to read/watch it until you do, though...

Similar to my post here (which includes info on, this post will discuss potential alternative food sources. One which is easier to raise than, say, goats, cows, pigs, chickens, rabbits, turkeys, deer, etc. I'm talking about the cute, cuddly cuy - aka "guinea pig." This little critter is a delicacy in some nations (like Peru). Now here is the video, an excerpt from "Bizzarre Foods" (from the Travel Channel, video on YouTube):

Interesting how the roasted cuy looks on the plate, eh? I'm sure some will say, "What a horrible thing to do!" (If you want a more pet-friendly way to "cook guinea pigs" check out this site - it's safe, promise) But it's just a cultural difference. We think nothing of raising other animals for food which, I'm sure, other nations may find odd. But think about cuy for a second: you could keep a whole farm of them in much less space than, say, chickens or rabbits. Yes, they won't provide as much food per critter, but still, you could have a farm of them without causing too much fuss. As long as you have a yard you wouldn't even necessarily need tons of GP (Guinea Pig) food, either. And there are (out)side benefits... maybe it's time to revisit an idea I had and shared on my extended-family web site. Here is the text of the original e-mail regarding the business opportunity (I'm looking for investors):

Dear all,

I have had sudden inspiration for a new business opportunity. What
I'm proposing is environmentally friendly lawn service. My lawn
service would feature a corps of well-trained, but mostly hungry,
guinea-pigs, which would be loosed on the customer's lawn for the
purpose of reducing the grass height. The guinea pig army would be
released in the morning, left, and retrieved in the afternoon, for a
reasonable fee. The upside, of course, would be the ecologically
sound, environmentally friendly method of lawn treatment (the guinea
pigs would also fertilize said lawn during the course of their primary
yard service, that of reducing the grass height).

This endeavor would require a fairly large farm of guinea pigs (once
the initial investment was made, however, said farm should be self-
sustaining, and perhaps even income producing depending on the
reproduction rate of said farm). The individual guinea pigs would
have to be implanted with an RFID chip, for ID and tracking purposes.
When the GPs are placed, they would be scanned out using the RFID
chips, and when retrieved, they would be similarly scanned in. Any
missing GPs would then have to be tracked and located via the RFID
tracking device (only a low-level transmitter would be required, since
the locomotive capabilities of munching guinea pigs has been observed
to be rather low).

This is where you come in. I'm seeking investors to participate in
making my business dreams come true. Invest as much or as little as
you want, but I hope it's in the former category instead of the
latter. As a bonus, for a mere $10,000 investment, you'll get a
picture of your guinea pig, signed by me and imprinted by the foot of
said GP, that you can frame and hang on your wall to let others know
of your investment in the future of our planet. If you invest
$20,000, not only will you get the framed certificate, you will be
allowed to name the guinea pig (what a great honor to bestow on a
loved one, naming a guinea pig after them!), and the name will be
included on the picture, as well as a certificate assuring that your
guinea pig has actually been officially bestowed with the name of your
choice. For $25,000, we'll even throw in the framing and express mail
charges of your guinea pig's picture and name certificate. For
$50,000, you can have the opportunity to actually launch your guinea
pig on a live lawn-care run, complete with the privilege of scanning
said GP in and out of the tracking system (and, if it goes missing,
you can track it down yourself using our high-tech rGPTS - RFID guinea
pig tracking system). For an investment of $100,000 or more, you will
receive your guinea pig once it enters retirement, and for $250,000
you will have the honor of having your guinea pig retired early, where
it can service your own lawn. For investments of $500,000 and up, you
will be provided with a pair of guinea pigs and all of their direct
offspring will be treated as if you had invested $25,000 (that is,
you'll be able to name it and we'll send you the framed picture and
certificate express mail). Investments of $1,000,000 or more will
include second generation offspring, although the naming rights will
be offered to the first investor in the event that two $1,000,000 GPs
have converging family trees.

I hope that this investment opportunity has come at a great time for
you, and that you'll seriously consider all the benefits of investing
in this company. The company is not officially a company yet, since I
don't have the Delaware company filing fees at the moment, but once we
do, we'll see about getting some sort of tax credit for investors and
those using the service since we're providing ecologically safe,
environmentally friendly alternative lawn care.

Thanks for listening, and I hope to be hearing from you (especially if
you're sending large checks!) soon.

Tony Moore, founder of GPESEFLCS (Guinea Pig Ecologically Safe,
Environmentally Friendly Lawn Care Service)

-- addendum: also good for food!

Enjoy! (Now is the time to invest, when the market is down... I guarantee I won't lose any more of your money than you invest in the company!)

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