WARNING: dangers of dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO)

I recently came across this site about the dangerous, yet widely available substance known as dihydrogen monoxide (DHMO). From their FAQ, some of the dangers of DHMO include:

• Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, even in small quantities.
• Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage.
• Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects.
• DHMO is a major component of acid rain.
• Gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns.
• Contributes to soil erosion.
• Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.
• Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.
• Exposure decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes.
• Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.
• Given to vicious dogs involved in recent deadly attacks.
• Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere, and in hurricanes including deadly storms in Florida, New Orleans and other areas of the southeastern U.S.
• Thermal variations in DHMO are a suspected contributor to the El Nino weather effect.

Wow. Why haven't we been made aware of this before? Please read the entire FAQ. Here are some symptoms of accidental DHMO overdose:

• Excessive sweating
• Excessive urination
• Bloated feeling
• Nausea
• Vomiting
• Electrolyte imbalance
• Hyponatremia (serum hypotonicity)
• Dangerously imbalanced levels of ECF and ICF in the blood
• Degeneration of sodium homeostasis

Please seek immediate care if you exhibit any of these symptoms.

Finally, DHMO, in its gaseous form, is the #1 greenhouse gas; thus it is a major contributor to global warming.

PS: you probably have all ingested DHMO today. You more than likely have also intentionally applied it liberally all over your body at least once in the past week. Dihydrogen monoxide has this little chemical symbol: H₂O. Yep, this "killer substance" is good ol' water.

Sorry, I couldn't resist. This is a great example of how data can be manipulated into making you believe something that just isn't real, kind of like "anthropogenic global warming" - that is, man-made global warming. To take the data at the end of a cycle (like an ice age), without projecting the entire cycle, and extrapolate it into the future... kind of like the guy did about "global darkening" (I mentioned that in this post).

But onto another property of good old hydrogen oxide: rust. And I'm not talking about of metal... I'm talking about water itself. Rust is, according to this site, oxidation. (Note: even Merriam-Webster defines the verb form of "rust" as to "become oxidized.") And what is oxidation? "To become oxidized" (again courtesy M-W.com) - and "oxidize" means "to combine with oxygen." Thus, when Hydrogen combines with Oxygen, it "oxidizes" - that is, it "rusts." Thus, water itself is actually Hydrogen rust. So, enjoy your nice glass of rust the next time you go out to eat!

Oh, and my most favorite thing to do with water: order it (as "ice water"). Like this:

"What would you like to drink, sir?"

"Oh, how about a nice glass of partially solidified hydrogen oxide, please? You do have that, right?"

I did that at an Arby's once as a teenager... the guy behind the counter (another teen or early 20s guy) just looked at me weirdly until I said, "Ice Water."

Until next time... a topato!