Saturday, March 14, 2009

Eyebrows and the universe

Last night I realized something.  My wife looked at me and started laughing, and asked, "What's that look for?"  (Yes, I realize that's incorrect grammar, but that's how she asked it.)  

I said, "What?"

And she said, "You raised your eyebrow!"

And that's when I realized: my eyebrows have the power to push the entire universe, starting with my forehead and from there the earth, galaxy, and the entire universe, down about a quarter inch!  Totally amazing.  Does anyone else have this amazing power?  I wonder if Einstein realized the incomprehensible density contained within an eyebrow that would allow it to push around the entire universe.

I also had some ideas for inventions last night:
  • toenail clipping bag: this is a clear plastic bag with hand-holes and a foot-hole so that you can put your toenail clippers and foot into the bag, insert your hands into the hand-holes, and then manipulate your toes and the clippers to clip your toenails in a sanitary manner, not losing any of the little clippings to be stepped on later; yes, there is a similar hard-plastic device that attaches to a set of toenail clippers, but you have to empty it just about every nail, and it sometimes missed the nail clippings; I did a USPTO search (online), and didn't find anything, and the 7 hits from the Google Patent Search didn't quite have a match, either
  • trash-sucker: you open the lid, which starts the vacuum outside, then you insert your trash, and the vacuum sucks the trash outside to right over your trashcan; when you close the lid, the vacuum operates for a little while longer (to make sure it has time to suck all the trash close) then shuts off and the outside trash can "trap door" opens to allow the trash to fall into the can (the vacuum vents into the can as well so that liquid and smaller trash particles will be send to the can instead of vented to the atmosphere); awesome: you don't have to take the trash out of the house anymore!
On a more serious note, Galatians 5:25 says (from The Message; the link is to multiple versions):
Since this [referring to a life in Christ] is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives.
Hmm... every detail, huh?  You mean everything, every little thing?  Guess I need to re-evaluate some things.  Reminded me of my friend Dean's blog, which has a super-great quote about surrender:
Similarly, we can attempt to hand over one area of our life to God and completely miss the fact that we're hanging on to another. This is not surrender. (I suppose some might call it "partial surrender," but since when does the person who's surrendering dictate the terms of the surrender?)

Yeah... surrender... in everything.  I love the quip: "since when does the person who's surrendering dictate the terms of the surrender?"  Think I might put that on my Facebook profile.

On a less serious note, do you know what a mandate is?  It's when a guy goes somewhere with one of the guys instead of with his girl...

Later, all.

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