As you can see in the attached photo, here is a new technique I've developed to save effort while drinking. When you drink from a straw, when you release the suction, the drink falls back into the glass. Then, when you want another drink, you have to withdraw the air at the top of the straw as well as getting the drink back up the straw. Well, using my technique, you no longer waste that extra effort! Just bend the straw with your hand before releasing the suction, and the drink will stay put! Bam, less effort required on the next sip! Ingenious, eh? It further has the effect of minimizing flatulence and bloating, since you'll be ingesting less air on every sip. Feel free to use this technique with no fee required.
May I be the first to say...
ReplyDeleteYOU ARE FAR TO LAZY!!!! We are talking about using the muscles in your mouth to suck fluid up a straw. This is not Rocket science. It is a natural reaction your body has had from the time your were born and wanted to eat. Do you know what you did? You had to suck milk form a bottle. Try doing that today and see how much harder it is than sipping through a straw. Don't be afraid to work those mouth muscles a little more.
I must also add how unbeleivable stupid he looks all hunched over his glass, taking these little sips every 5 seconds. Not kidding people. ;) All those College dollars hard at work.
So what happens when you need to take a bite of food and you also have to scratch your head?
ReplyDeleteI get a shower? Actually, the new technique is primarily for once you're done eating, when you're belly's full and your mouth muscles are tired from eating. That's when this technique really comes in handy.
ReplyDeleteIt's also (apparently) a good pride-reducing exercise ("how unbelievably stupid he looks" - and that's from the person who says she loves me the most!). :) I did exaggerate the quick-sipping in order to validate the new technique. You don't have to take quite so short or frequent sips in order to utilize this technique... I was just testing the mechanics of the theory. And they worked!
By the way, the bottles use gravity to help you get the milk from them - you turn it up. I suppose I could try to make a perfect seal around the top of my glass and straw and turn up the cup, but I'd probably end up with tea all over my lap. Unless, of course, I was drinking some sort of soda.