A Literary Journey - 3rd Grade

Last time (over a month ago, sorry for the delay!), we started a literary journey through my elementary school days. Today we'll continue that journey, with 3rd grade writings, both fiction and non-fiction (the first entry is a report about a trip to Moundville, AL). Once again, I will not correct any spelling or grammatical errors, but faithfully reproduce my 3rd grade writings. And with that introduction, let's begin.

[report about Moundville trip]

Dear Dad,

    Thank you for driving us to Moundeville. I especially enjoyed the museum. The trip was also very fun. Thanks for buying my brother and me a play knife for one dollar each because they are fun to play with.

                                        Your son,

                                        Tony Moore

Halloween

On Halloween October 31, 1960 I found a map. I had a key. I started off. I found the house. It had a sign that read: Danger Haunted House! I did not care. I went in. I heard "I mummy dumbell!" I got scared. I took my knife out of my pocket. Then somebody or something took my map. I killed whatever it was. Then I saw shadows. I saw a couple of bats too. I just kept on going and stayed out of sight. I finally found the right room. I took the key and unlocked the chest. I opened it and got the treasure.

Lyers

I told a lye one time and the electric wiper came out. It whiped me so hard I went thru the celing! I came back 20 years later. I had gone thru the galaxy! I had moonrock, Marsrock and a mouthfull of Jupiter! This story is not true but I usaly get whiped!

The Suprise

I got a package in the mail. I wanted to go get it, but it was raining. Then I heard a meow. I opened the door. I was suprised! My package read, "handle with care." It had walked to the door. I took it in. I sat down and opened it. There I saw two kittens and an envelope. I opened the envelope and read the card. It was from grandmother. I called her, told her thank you and told her the kittens names Whitepaw and Whitetail.

If I Could Fly

If I could fly I would fly to Texas and get me a home where the buffalo rome so I could get refreshed on a hot day. I would sit out at night and stare at the beautiful sight.

Cobra K

We have no cars so I rode on my king cobra named Cobra K for protection. I rode thru the jungle Cobra bitting other dangerous animals. We left the jungle and started on our way home. Cops came after us on bumblebees. "Pull him over," they said to me so I did. "Let's see your animal lisen," they said so I let them. He gave it back. "Five cence please," he said I gave him a nickel, and he flew off.

Cobra K.

We have no cars so I rode my cobra named Cobra K. thru the woods. He bit other dangerous animals. We started back home but the cops said "Pull him over," so I did. "Let's see your animal license," he said so I showed it to him. He said "Five cents please," so I gave him a nickel, and rode home.

I guess I had to rewrite this one for some reason - probably the lackluster effort in the original version of "Cobra K." - but whatever, it was in there twice, so it's here twice as well.

The Wish

A fairy gave me one wish. I wished I was grown-up. Automatically I was 22 years old! I joined The Pepsi-Cola co.

a third-grader's idea of "grown up?" 22 years old, apparently! I wish I was "grown up" again right now! haha

[untitled]

I see a dinosaur. He eats weeds

um... let's ignore this one and go on...

Thanking God

I am thankfull for my parents, clothes, food, shelter, friends, reletives, farmland with farmers, animals and my pets, church, school and brother. I thank God for all he has given me. On Thanksgiving we usually eat turkey. We should even thank him for turkey. I thank God just to be alive. I go to church, read my bible, and say my prayers. If you like to watch t.v. or listen to radios, you should thank him for letting people invent them. Thank God for Thanksgiving. You would be suprized at God for giving us all these wonderfull things and ask us only for a little bit. God gave to us but we only take and not give back. Give to God, don't just accept.

I Am Frosty

One day Frosty, I, went to the store to by a freezer. I did this because Spring was almost here. I did not want to melt. I looked and looked, but none were big enough. Then I saw a good one. It's size was 63 cubic feet long and 80 inches wide. It worked so I bought it for 638 doller bills. I said to the maneger, "I will keep it here," and jumped in. My pipe blew out, but I didn't care. One of my eyes poped off, but it did not hurt because I had no nerves. It was cold enough. I really liked it. I said that I liked it. My wife bought one too. She liked hers. When Wenter came, I went back outside. When Spring came, I went back inside my freezer.

OK, so I didn't understand measurement so well in 3rd grade ("cubic feet long"), but I apparently had a grasp of biology ("no nerves")!

Me, Santa?

One snowy Christmas morning I heard my alarmclock. I got up right away and said, "Mrs. Clause! Mrs. Clause! Where's my breakfast?" she answered, "Right here sir," I went to the to table and ate. "Elvis, Handlin, Mayder, get the elves to work." When I finished breakfast, I started loadin. "Let's see now. The toy boat for......... um, Oh yea! James. The Sweety Face for Amy. The Santa costum for..... who? Oh, Andy. Jill gets the makeup kit. Jeanie Plot gets the Barbie Fashon Face. For Misti the pair of glasses. The two electric trains go to Greg and Spencer. Frizt gets a pair of boxing gloves. Brad gets the Cris Cros Crash and Sid gets a play Mork egg. When I get back from my trip I'll get a good nights sleep.

My Dad

My dad is nice looking. He has black hair, brown eyes and is partly bald. He is tall and wears glasses. His building and office are nice too.

He is nice. He takes us out to eat and to movies.

He works for Author Young and company.

My family likes him.

One time he broke an axe handle cutting wood. Then he bought a log splitter. It was made by putting an axe handle and a wedge together and it really works!

My Mother

My mom is nice. She got me my Bandit car and Snoopy car. She got me a brother. She gives me an alowence. I like her just because she is nice.

One Saturday, she jut took it easy. She took one Saturday hard. She did a lot of work.

She has brown hair, and she is five foot six I think she said.

Halloween

On Halloween I will be Dracula. I will go trick-or-treating. I might make a haunted house. (With my house though.) I will go to my grandmom's house and Peggy's house. Then I will go trick-or-treating in my own neighborhood. If I do make a haunted house, it will be scary. I hope I do. I usually get a lot of candy. I always go with mom or dad. We don't always have a light though. "Happy Halloween!"

William Tell

Switzerland is a pretty country found in Europe. It was captured by Gessler and his men. Gessler finaly got the Swiss to bow to him.

After a few days passed, Tell, came by. Tell or his son did not bow. Tell got into trouble.

Gessler made Tell stand 100 paces away and split an apple on his son's head. Tell did not want to do this, but finaly agreed and split the apple. 

I am the President

"I really am the president? Good!" I said. I am the president. Jayme, my little brother, is vice president. The first thing I did was get a new desk. I say it looks better! I needed $6000.00, so the vice president gave it to me so I could bye a Datsun. I shall make two new laws. Law 1, "No capturing in U.S.A" Law 2, "No threats or drugs." Later I shall make a law, "No babies can be born so we can save energy." "I want a new house!" I said, but the vice president said, "No, I like this house. Lets keep it.

Christmas Morning

On Christmas Morning I woke up at 6:30-7:00. I woke Jayme up. Then I woke mom and dad up. Daddy got the camera ready. He told us when we could come down so he could take our picture.

When Jayme and I got downsairs, we were surprised. I got a big tonka truck, a big glider and two books. In my stocking was an umbrella, buble bath, soap and underoos. 

well, guess I finally learned to spell "surprise" !

Look Out

"Look out!" I shouted. A volcano just erupted. The lava started to melt our desks and books. Next, the lava went outside and I did too. I took my knife and cut the water pipe. The water spued out, but pushed the lava out of our state. That's how I was the state hero.

maybe that's how I made my bid for the presidency, on the basis of my state-saving heroism and quick thinking!

Cupid

Hi! My name is, are you ready for this?, Cupid! I go, like all other Cupids, naked. One day I saw Jeanie P. and Jason quarreling. I shot both of them. They both said, "Ow!" then they got maried and I liked it. I said that I would shoot Tammy and Andy. I did as planned, and they fell in love, and the very next year, they got married.

My Clothes

My favorite outfit is a pair of blue jeans, sneakers, and Alabama shirt, light or dark blue socks and a ford cap. I especially like to wear them in the Summer. I just forgot to put in belt.

I have a favorite pair of Winter and Summer pajamas too. The Winter pair is made of red flannel. The other pair is blue with cowboys on. I also have a blue and red robe. It is also made of flannel. 

Easter Bunny's son

I'm the Easter Bunny's son. I like to go hipp-i-ty-hopp-i-ty hop. My name is Easter Bunny II. I help my father decorate eggs. (I like that the best!) I like to put faces on the green ones. One time I put a whole back on one, but my father made me erase it. I decided to go hide Easter eggs. I ate one egg. Then I hid nine-thousand Easter eggs the children found sixty, the animals ate the rest. My mother gave me some Hi-C. I drank it and fell asleep.

Rofer ☺

One day a witch turned me into a robot and put me in a toy store and a boy bought me. I tried to escape, but it was no use. He took me home and put an Alkaline Energizer in me. He turned the switch "on". He said, "Go get the paper, Rofer." I went to get the paper. He said, "Let's go play baseball." I went with him. I made 60 home runs before the pitcher threw the ball and blew me to bits. then the spell wore of and I was a boy again.

Gold

One day I saw a leprechaun. I watched him very closly. He said, "Let's go to the end andgt that goweld Ok?" "Ok," they answerd. I wrote what I thought they ment. Let's go to the end of the rainbow and get the gold. "I will folow them," I thought. I did as planned, and I hid. I saw the black iron pot. I grabbed it, but it was too heavy, so I hid again. He put it in a wagon, so I stole the wagon.

Trojan Horse

Once, the Greeks captured the King, Menelaus. He was my father, so I got mad. My name is Prince Paris. I called every male and female together. There were 600 in Troy. We got in my one and my fathers two ships and went to atack. I forgot to leave guards, so the Greeks took over Troy. I sailed on. We finally got to Greece. We started to atack, but just when I told my army to back of, a big wooden horse roled over my leg. It was good because a spear mised my head. I crawled to the ship and sailed away.

And there you go, 3rd grade literature. Hope you enjoyed this, and hopefully it won't be quite so long before my next post.

A Literary Journey - 2nd Grade

I thought I would treat you all to a literary journey through my childhood. I will be posting several articles composed of stories that I wrote during my childhood school career. 1st grade was mostly "Book Reports" (including a book report about Are You My Mother? - quite possibly one of the greatest works of literature ever, nearly as good as Where the Wild Things Are - the movie doesn't do it justice - or the poem Eletelephony, which I have had in my memory since 2nd grade), so I won't bore you with those. Instead, we'll start in 2nd grade, where the stories are just about all illustrated, so I'll include the photos as well. Note: I will adhere strictly to the 2nd grade prose - no corrections of grammar, spelling, or anything else. Here we go...

Leprechaun

I am a leprechaun. I have black hair to match my pot of gold. I wear green. I hide my gold. I usually hide my gold at 12:30 P.M. I live in Japan. I hide my gold in my hat. There they won't find it. The vallans have red hair. I am very clever.

no, I don't know what "vallans" are - I assume I meant "villains" - but I don't recall writing this story, so I can't comment any further on that word

The Uglyest Thing

The uglyest thing I ever saw was a prikly bush. I saw it in the yard at my house. It was green, brown and ugly. I felt ow!

uglyest, prikly, felt ow - how awesome! this one is my boys' favorite of my old stories

 Drop Kite

One day Don decided to fly his kite. He got it out and up. The wind was so strong it blew him off the ground. He shouted "Drop kite!" and he was never seen again.

no illustration on this one, sorry; the teacher, Mrs. Worthington, probably my favorite teacher because my 2nd grade self thought she was pretty, commented, "Gee, wonder where he went!"

SPRING HOLIDAYS

Monday I went to Judy and Jill's. The rest of the week I went to the hospital. Saturday and both Sunday's were the only times I had fun except when I saw Lady and the Tramp. The End.

no illustration on this one - well, there is one, but it's mainly just scribbles supposed to represent a hospital - and I don't recall this "trip to the hospital" - quite possibly related to my broken left foot from a bicycle accident, which probably happened around that time frame; I actually had to crawl across the road with that broken foot!

Rosa and I at the Library

Last Saturday morning Rosa and I went to the main library downtown. We took our own newest raceing roller skates. I skated down a very narrow hall. I axedentely knocked over a high shelf of books. The librarian started running after us. We left very quickly.

 lots of spelling errors in this one - but, hey, I was in 2nd grade!

The Dog's Adventure

Once there was a dog who had many adventures. It's name was Sisy. She brought a man binoculars to see down the mountainside.

ok, ok... "its" not "it's"!!! I still got an A+ and wasn't dinged for the incorrect wording

The Wind

I am the wind. Sometimes I am naughty but sometimes I am good. I like being the wind. I blow down houses and trees. I make waves in seas. I blow clouds and rain. People hate me.

not only an A+ on this one, but also a "This is excellent!" comment!

Stuffed Turkey

It is almost Thanksgiving. I am a turkey. I hate this. I am scared. Last night I had a dream. It was terrible! I mean it!

 interestingly enough, we have turkey in the oven right now...

History

The ships Columbus sailed were Santa Maria, Pinta and Niña. He was born in Italy. Isabella, the queen of Spain, gave Columbus the ships and 120 sailors and wished him good luck.

yes, I used "the little mark above the second 'n'" in Niña, although it doesn't quite look as good as the one in the typed version. I was a very intelligent little boy :) .

The Bird

Once there was a bird named Blackeye. A boy called Dick came along. Blackeye was at the nearby falls. The boy had $20 in his hand. The bird swooped down and took the $20. The bird took the $20 and went to the pet shop. There he bougt food, water and a brass birdcage and lived happily ever after.

no, "bougt" is not a typo - it's a misspelling from my 2nd grade days. This story includes a comment that I'm "a great storyteller!" Yay, 2nd-grade me!

The 200 Year Old House

One day I went to the house we lived in two years. Nobody lived in it for 180 years. It was said to be haunted. I went in. The electricity was off. The only light was daylight. I saw my old chest. I opened the drawer with open me on it. When I did I saw my daddys spirit. Then I opened the other drawer. I saw evil spirits. I closed it.

obviously some grammatical or other errors in it, but this is the last of my 2nd grade literature. And it shows my intelligence - "close the drawer with the evil spirits!" haha

So, there you go. Hope you've enjoyed this little trip down my memory lane. Next time we'll visit some 3rd grade writings, with such great stories as "Lyers", "The Surprise", "If I Could Fly", two versions of "Cobra K", "The Wish", and more! Yes, Jane, I put the commas outside the quotes... didn't want them getting confused into the wonderful titles!

Jury Summons!

Got a jury summons today for jury service at the US District Court (Southern District of Alabama). Things of note:

1. "Parking fees will be paid at a flat rate of $10.00 per day" - and two of the three parking options they suggest are a $12/day parking rate
2. "You can request to be permanently excused if": (among others)
• a person providing in-home care and custody of a child or children under 10 years of age
• a person who served as a grand or petit juror in a federal court within the past two years
• a person essential to the care of aged or infirm persons
• ... I think all of these scenarios should have "statute of limitations" on them, as a) kids age; b) time continues (i.e., before long it will not be "within the past two years" since service); c) aged persons will eventually no longer need care (sorry for the bluntness, but eventually they'll pass away), but, per this summons, you can request to be "permanently excused" from service. Maybe I should have another kid... :)
3. Amusing questions on the juror questionnaire:
• "List each child's a) age, b) occupation, or c) school" - doesn't ask for names, just, I guess, one of those three items? That was the whole question, no other directions for completing it, such as "age if under x years old, or occupation or school if over x" or whatever.
• "Have you ever lived outside the Southeastern United States? If so, when & where?"
• "Are there any bumper stickers on the car you or your spouse drive? If so, what do they say?"
• "Have you ever served on a trial jury? Was it civil or criminal, and what was the outcome?"

Many of the other questions delved well into my personal life - I feel like I've been profiled racially, socially, politically, economically, educationally, and many other "ly"s through this process. Should I sue the US District Court for invading my personal bubble? 

Per Nolo.com, 

Next, the lawyers for each side question the potential jurors about their biases and backgrounds, as well as any pre-existing knowledge they might have about the case. The attorneys can also ask questions designed to uncover characteristics or experiences that might cause potential jurors to favor either the prosecution or the defense. But the lawyers aren’t allowed to ask overly personal questions, and they aren't allowed ask the jurors how they would decide the case in advance.

It seems to me that some of the questions provided on the questionnaire were pretty personal. It also seems, to me, that perhaps jury selection should be less "case weighted" - that is, instead of having the prosecuting and defending attorneys involved in juror selection, the judge (or perhaps a "jury selection panel") should simply qualify the available jurors and have the jurors randomly selected from the qualified panel. (I know, there's a long and storied history behind the juror selection process, and it's essentially designed to gridlock the jury in an even split, but jury trials are supposed to provide a fair and impartial look at the evidence, and only the evidence, whereas too often these days court cases are about appearances and biases as much as they are about the truth - at least, that's my perception.)

So, anyway, I might be on a US District Court jury sometime later this year. Doing my duty for the due process!

Votes and Balogna (sometimes they go together?)

Here's an interesting article I read (most) of recently regarding privacy and Snowden's "whistle blowing" actions. I don't necessarily agree (or disagree) with everything (or even anything) said in the article, but this in particular caught my mind:

"In every country in the world that holds meaningful elections, Google knows how you are going to vote. It's already shaping your political coverage for you, in your customised news feed, based upon what you want to read, and who you are, and what you like. Not only does it know how you're going to vote, it's helping to confirm you in your decision to vote that way – unless some other message has been purchased by a sponsor."

Rather interesting: that Google already "knows" how you will vote, and helps you confirm your voting tendencies (by suggesting articles to read). Another segment of the article discusses Facebook (and other social media sites) can track not only your interests, but what articles you're looking at, when you look at them, etc. (you know all those "like" and "share" buttons? Just a little script behind them to track your web journey into their database). I already find it a bit disconcerting that advertising follows things I've recently viewed on Amazon or Google, but never really thought about aggregation of my various browsing data (outside of Google's keeping my history available across all devices and computers I'm using, such as pulling up that article link via Chrome's history tab on a different computer than the one where I have it open upstairs).

It's a long article, but interesting to read (break it up if you need to; I did). I haven't read all the comments (only a few), but they are interesting as well, and show some definitely differing opinions.

So, on to balogna. Today I had a really good balogna sandwich for lunch (or maybe I was just hungry). I always liked balogna, but one time I had a really, really good balogna sandwich, made from real Bolognese. Most people assume that bologna (the sausage/lunch meat) is called that because of its origin in Bolgna, Italy, but few realize its original creation, which I'll document here.

The Bolognese breed appeared in Italy around the 1200s. It's a toy dog, playful, easygoing, and loyal. Over the next couple hundred years, the dog became a favorite throughout Italy, and every family had at least one, usually several, and breeders were to be found all throughout the country (although the highest population remained in Bologna). In fact, there was an overpopulation of the little dogs, and soon they were running through the streets as strays, nearly wiping out the cat and small rodent population throughout central Europe.

Then the famines started. First in the early 1500s in Venice. People became desperate, and soon the family pet became the family brunch, made into a sausage so as not to recognize the familiarity of, say, Fido's leg. It wasn't very good at first, but the people in Bologna, familiar with the breed, found ways to best flavor the sausage, and the "Bologna sausage" actually became a delicacy in the region. With the overabundance of the Bolognese in the streets, alleyways, and all around, the famine came to an end. In respect to the service the dogs provided, the Bologna sausage was kept on the menu, but reserved a special place as a delicacy, and when served in restaurants, always had its own page on the menu, usually with an "in memoriam" dedication. Source of the meat was never disclosed, and the assumption spread that pork was the base ingredient.

When the famine of 1680 hit Sardinia, an estimated 80,000 people perished before the widespread news of the famine hit the mainland and the Bolognese population was high enough to support the loads of Bologna sausage necessary to end the hard times. A huge advantage to the Bologna sausage was that the meat didn't have to be preserved for shipment - it could be carried live to the island on ships, and owing to its small size, the ships could transport lots of the critters (even small ships), and the sausage could be created on the island. Many don't realize, but this was also the beginning of the "lunch cart" business (although it was more of a handout than a business at the start), as the ships would arrive at the island with the live Bolognese, which would be made into Bologna sausage at kitchens near the docks, and the sausages would be loaded into carts and carried to the interior of the island and handed out. This was also the first instance of the "lunch meat" variety of Bologna sausage: in order to quickly hand out the sausages to the mobbing people, the sausages were cut into slices and thrown, frisbee style, the the crowds. This allowed the sausages to be "handed" to both those swarming the cart as well as those further away and unable to reach the cart (due to the crowds). They weren't used on bread as sandwiches at this time (famine, remember? no bread!), but were served up like "mini-steaks."

The famine in Naples in 1764 was short lived; quickly responding to the situation, the Bolognese (citizens) put the Bolognese (dogs) to work right away, marching themselves down to Naples and right into waiting kitchens, where they were made into, according to most accounts, the best Bologna sausage the region has ever known. However, after learning of the source, the citizens of Naples publicly thanked the Bolognese (the people, not the dogs) in a press release that, unfortunately, caught the collective eye of French and Spanish citizens, who objected to the use of "that kind of meat" in a sausage for human consumption. This was to be the end of the original Bologna sausage. To avoid public outcry, Bolognese were no longer used in the production of Bologna sausage, and instead alternatives (usually pork with lard, although other ingredients are used from time to time as well) are used for its production.

However, every once in a while, you can find a shop that will give you an "original Bologna sausage" - and that, my friends, is a real treat that you should never overlook.

* note: this is satire; Bologna sausage is, of course, not made from little Bolognese doggies. Or is it?